Dear Louise:

You wrote: “he asked if I wanted to meet up before he went away on a business trip this week. All I could think was, what’s the point?”

You answered your question: “We have the same goals, enjoy the same lifestyle, etc.  We connect on a physical and mental level”.

You stated the following behaviors as abusive: “threats to have me taken away in a straight jacket, comparisons to ex girlfriends, comments on my weight, my intelligence, apparently I ‘lack passion for life’, I am unmotivated and uninspired.”

Breaking down the list:

1. Threats to have you taken away in a straight jacket: how often did he threaten that and what preceded his threats? Maybe you can describe the last time he threatened that.

2. Comparisons to ex girlfriends: can you give an example or two of such comparisons?

3. Comments on your weight and intelligence: can you give an example of each?

4. Comments on your lack of passion, motivation and inspiration: again, can you give an example?

anita