Dear Mina:

You wrote that your relationship with your ex boyfriend was one of trust and openness. A few days before the breakup he shut down, was not open. He seemed like a different person and that distressed you. In his first and most recent post-breakup text to you he seemed like his old self and that relieved your distress.

You wrote that you have this “somehow sick view of love” that you have to sacrifice yourself for the one you love, as proof of your love, hiding your real emotions if they may hurt the loved one. You are afraid that if you expressed to your ex your hurt or sadness, that he would feel guilty or a burden, correct?

You wrote: “I am very tired of pretending, keeping secrets… still looking out and putting his happiness above mine.”

In one of your posts on the first page of this thread you wrote: “Me reaching out to him, wishing him a happy birthday was a cry out for help from my side. For others, it is a simple “happy birthday” wishes but for me, deep down inside, it is a cry for help and support from him. I am struggling, I feel like dying please help me kind of cry.”

Can you tell me what this “cry for help” was about? Are you still crying for help, presently?

anita