1. Hi Gia,

Thank you for your reply. I think you are correct in describing him. Looking back now, he was a very bitter and negative person. He told him he disliked depressed people and felt he kept meeting lots of them on his travels. I remember thinking he was incredibly judgemental and it was a bit low of him. At that point I probably should’ve known better and removed myself from his company however he seemed to get on quite well with me and for some reason (probably being on my own) I felt drawn to him. I was incredibly hurt, rattled and anxious for a long time after he turned and still to this day, the anxiety sets in. He hated that I got on well with people and nothing fazed me. Now that I think about it, I think he wanted to take me down a peg or two because I was clearly enjoying myself, engaging with others and had a positive attitude towards life. Unfortunately he did take me down and I stupidly let him.

Moving on from that, yes you’re right, I think it is that she previously confided in me and when we all moved on and I was still there spending time with others (him included) that he moved on to me and I gravitated towards him. I wish I hadn’t and wondered why now. Maybe being in a different country on my own. I just know I started to develop feelings. I often wonder why as he wasn’t a nice person. My predicament is that after our travels this girl kept in touch with me and still to this day talks about him. I’m feeling so guilty that she feels so deeply (from what I’m hearing) about him still while I know I too kissed him yet I can honestly look back and say I’m sure it didn’t stop at me.

I really appreciate my new-found friendship with this girl and maybe in some ways I ignorantly thought none of us would ever stay in touch beyond our trip however some of us did.

I just wish she didn’t like him like she did because he’s a terribly negative and bitter person and I only saw the aim of his journey to put a damper on it for others. I can’t say it to her based on my thoughts towards him but I feel in an awkward position and very unnerved that he recently expressed to her that he hates me.

I don’t get it or why he ever turned on me. He attacked my character and criticised my positivity and made me feel like shit. To add to all that, I now feel like shit that I ever felt anything for him in the first place.

I guess there are two points to this story. Why this guy did this and secondly that I did keep in touch with this girl and all this time on I know I kissed him and am horrified to hear that she still holds a candle for him. I am disappointed in myself for allowing him get under my skin and allow him make me feel so worthless and gaining a lovely friend from my travels but feeling like I let her down.