Firstly, you are not inadequate!  Please don’t think that.  It sounds to me like you are very head strong & can manage to live very independently under normal circumstances, however, now you’re going through a bad patch & everything feels as though it is falling apart.  A strong factor that you have going for you is that you do very well career wise & you were in a good position.  Did you leave this job or thinking you might lose it?

It seems like you are heavily burdened with doing what your family expects of you.  I don’t want to speak wrongly against your traditions & what your family believes, however it is your life & you have a right to choose your own path.  I am sensing there is a lot of dependence on having a man by your side & you’re feeling inadequate based on what they think.

You might feel your world is falling apart because this man is no longer in your life but it sounds to me like you need to give yourself a lot of love & attention before committing to anyone.  I am also a woman in my mid 30’s, not in a relationship & like you, when I was, felt a bit insecure whereby I would believe I was a lesser person & ultimately when the relationship ended, I felt worthless & almost like I would never find anyone again.  My self-esteem had hit an all time low. I realised it was me that needed to address this & question myself as to why I viewed myself so negatively.  Overall, I have done so much for myself (without a man) travelled, done courses, joined clubs, met new people.  I throw myself into everything to build on my self esteem.  I am by no means fully there yet however I feel good in myself most of the time & I want to build on feeling this secure for when I do meet someone so should it come to an end, I won’t fall apart like I used to.

You sound very independent but you’re not giving yourself a chance.  Can I ask – your choice to go home, is that because you feel it’s your only option or is it because your visa will no longer be valid?