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Hi B,
I think what it comes down to, is it all to emotionally draining to him, the crying, the suicide threats. Men do not like chaos, intensity and drama. When you are ever thinking hurthful thoughts please contact your local crisis line. They are prepared to deal with people who are suicidal and other crisis. They will send out a mobile unit and refer you to a Psychiatrist for depression and anxiety screening, as you are severely depressed. Please do this, because there is so much your boyfriend can take. I know you don’t want to lose him. Try not to cry around him, threaten suicide, and please get the help you need. I’m worried about you.