Relationships are the crucible in which we discovered ourselves. Meaning we will create, usually unconsciously, confrontations so that me might heal them. When the relationship is a safe place for our “ghosts” to play, we grow, if we remain unaware of our “ghosts” at play the relationship will become an unsafe place to work though our healing.

Sometimes it takes the pain of a relationship to get us to a point where we become conscious our issues

I Recommend the books by David Richo as a guide

When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships by David Richo

Psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present  helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs