I am sitting in my cafe feeling invisible. I have my goals in front of me in a book. I am trying to get back to them.

I got into it slightly with my boss yesterday because I was exhausted and I have to be at full strength to deal with him or at least 1/2 way there.  He doesn’t care what comes up…if something comes up that is out of your control it is simply your fault. Nothing changes with him. The tide never shifts. I adjust to what comes up. He doesn’t. We are complete opposites yet I have to see him today yet again. I work when I am sick, I work even though my knee feels like it is going to fall off. He has more respect for people half my age who spend quite a bit of time on their phones when I won’t bring my phone with me on the floor. He only cares about things that can be seen by the clients getting done. I care about the inner workings and quality of care offered that is unseen. He cares about the surface; I care about what is going on underneath. I am yet again stuck working for someone like this. These people unfortunality always seem to be the ones in control today.

Getting sway from my boss…I felt bitter again yesterday. I feel taken advantage of. Younger people have no problem letting me do the heavier work because I will not cleverly not take my break at work to avoid being the extra person. You see at my work if you take s break you sometimes end up the extra person that has to do more strenuous work. My work ethic and my not wanting to stick someone else…of course I end up the extra person. What really frustrates me is (my boss again) is that my boss doesn’t give a flip that the younger people do this. He micromanages all over the place, tells you things you already know but doesn’t care if one worker basically lets another do more work than they do if they can get away with it. I felt/feel like a loser because no one wants to rescue me. No one cares that I am in pain. I worry about others but they fon’t worry about me. I come in every time someone calls out. I am responsible…I pride myself on being intelligent maybe not socially but I don’t feel my boss appreciates my intelligence because I do not respond well to his machine like personality in the work world. I can praise my boss for his organization skills and wanting things to be orderly but I don’t always see him as genuine and I think he lacks communication skills. I am an artist but I feel trapped and society the way it is today feels very suffocating for someone with an artistic personality. I am hurting my body and mind daily for very little money to just barely survive.

I am feeling trapped and unworthy again and feel that if I am hurt by it than I become even more of an outcast. I feel as if I have a rule from every other person on the planet. You will like your situation Lisa or you will not even get a Good Morning or so much as a Hi from any of us. One complaint and we ignore you…The woman sitting not far from you..”What can we do to help her?” That’s right, she is more important than you…and after she gets attention everyone states how courageous she is. That’s the way it is and you will like it.

The only thing that keeps me at my current job is my clients. I feel like I will abandon them if I leave.

If one man would just talk to me. Make an effort then I would feel a glimmer of hope.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Lisa.