Dear Annie:

Regarding you being worried about what you have done to him: he was well enough to end the relationship, and that is a good thing, good move on his part. Hopefully he will be careful and not get into a relationship with an abusive person in the future.

If you feel guilty about having been abusive to him, the way for you to feel better, I believe, is to do your best to heal from what motivated you to abuse him, so that you don’t do this again to someone else. You are on a waiting list for therapy and once you see a therapist, let the therapist know that the first thing you want to work on is to not be abusive to anyone, to be able to feel angry and not react abusively to it.

While you wait for therapy, you can maybe join a free support group, if such is available. And/ or get a book on Anger management, you can look for online sources on how to manage your anger. You can write in a journal, a journal you can title Anger Management if you want. You can post here about techniques and strategies to manage anger (I for one, will reply to you).

You can share, if you’d like, about those hurts from the past that are fueling your anger.

anita