Dear Anita,

That was very articulate. Not enforcing a time limit is something I do. And I do not just do it with my mother, but with other people. I’m getting better at it, though. But because the child has unmet needs, listening to other people’s feelings becomes some kind of currency; you listen to others and you expect them to do the same, because you desperately need it. And when they don’t give back as much as you’d want, you’re crushed, again, and again, and again. I’m afraid to love because I know I have insatiable needs.

Thank you, you shed some light on my situation. And I think my father’s indifference was harmful to my mother more than to us (I mean, it was, but indirectly, as you explained).