Hi Ella,

Thank you for providing me with some more insight. My thoughts are that sometimes people (especially women) tend to “lose” themselves in their boyfriends. They sort of forget the individual person that made them special and unique before they met their boyfriend and you are a special and a unique and lovely person. I see it in your writing, your boyfriend sees it, but only you have to see it, and it begins with becoming independent from your boyfriend, and learning to love yourself.

Remember that he does not “complete ” you. You were already a complete person before you met him. There is no one on this earth like you. What happens, is as women, we tend to put our boyfriends and relationship on a pedestal and I realize it and romanticize it. Then we lose who we are and we live through our significant others.

Become your own person and start doing things outside your boyfriend. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal shelter or animal shelter/SPCA, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Helping others activates our endorphins, and makes us feel good about ourselves by helping people and animals. Join a book club, a craft club at your local YMCA, a Zumba, yoga or Aerobics class. That does wonders for our self esteem, because we are doing wonderful things for our bodies which lift our mood. Take some classes at your local college or tech center. Volunteer at a Hospital and read or play a game with a lonely senior. Do bible study. So many things and passions you can do, and you will have so much fun, you will get out of your head (sometimes as women we get in our own heads too much and anxiety and insecurity, jealousy set in). You will soon see a brand new person, full of life, self esteem..you will have less time wondering and worrying yourself miserable about your boyfriend.