Hello Rowena

I really do feel for you and i am so sorry that you are going through such an emotional time on your own.

I think a lot of the times men cant cope even when they are expected to be the backbone of this new and exciting time 1.e supporting the new mother and the baby. Most men wont open up and say they are having a hard time and like to ”escape”, run away from the situation and hope that it will just get better with time.

I haven’t had a baby myself but i can understand how it must feel to be completely on your own as you are not in your own country, i too have no one here but my partner as i moved country for him. I think its the worst thing feeling so alone that you don’t even have your husband, the man who is supposed to be loving and supporting you.

I think you should be really proud of yourself for firstly having your baby (congrats) and having to look after him all by yourself , you see? See how strong and confident you are? Why should he stop you from doing something you love ?? If you want to go to the gym for your physical and mental needs then you go, i don’t see why it is ok for him to do the things you love yet you arent allowed to as its an unnecessary expense to him? Do you have any savings at all? If so then go ahead and pay for your gym membership yourself, that way he cannot say anything to you. How in the world can they think you are sponging off him, he is your husband, when people get married they share everything and your husband should be happy with you trying to make yourself feel and look better and what his family say should be no concern of you. I know it is hard, but you have to try and not think about them, this is about you and your husband! I am so sorry about your last marriage, you seem to really have gone through a lot! What about your family? Do you think if you spoke to them they could come and see you and maybe give you some support? I think most importantly you should speak to your husband and tell him exactly how you feel and go from there… you do not deserve this type of treatment and neither does your little one. I wish you all the luck in the world.