@anita: what made you think that there’s a lot of guessing and that i believe he is thinking and feeling the same when he’s not? i mean what exactly were you referring to? you’re right that i guess a lot. i just think that i can sense other people’s feelings sometimes. for example he doesn’t tell me he loves me, but i still believe that he does. or do you think that i’m wrong about that? … after all i don’t have solid “proof”, i only trust my feeling. i just thought that only because some people don’t say it, doesn’t mean they don’t feel it?! … and that he is still there and putting up with my needy attitude must be some kind of sign that he cares about me too? otherwise he could/would break up with me easily?

why do you think that my understandings of him are wrong? hmm.. about the questions. i asked all of that when we talked about the ex. i can’t remember what he said what scared him to be honest. maybe you’re right about my guessing and my feelings. i assumed that he was scared because any step to the direction of commitment scares him. and moving in together is a big step regarding commitment. i asked why he moved in together if he didn’t want it and if he had any hope at all that it would work. and he said he did want to try, and after all they were together for 2years and she pushed him to do it. but he felt extremely anxious about it. he said they were just like friends living together, there was no romance at all anymore. (again in my mind i think that he subconsciously provoked it because he did not want to allow love to grow. but i seriously don’t know. i know that they fought a lot. she cried a lot. he didn’t tell her he loved her either). now thinking about everything i feel like he got bigger issues than i do. sometimes i wondered if he could feel love at all. maybe he doesn’t feel love at all/doesn’t know what it is?

@anita and coconut: I’m a lil sad that both of you feel like he is not the right one for me. what makes you think that? though I’m very thankful for your comments. i thought if i would change, maybe i would be way more happy (regardless if he changes or not). i won’t need constant  validation and therefore there won’t be any problems anymore?!