Dear Fae,

I commend you for having the courage to open up and write your experiences.  My sister and I have had not the same experiences per se, but a lot of negativity from our mother – that we only RECENTLY started realizing was a reality.  Sometimes when you are raised in a certain way, we feel it is normal, and feel that if we think otherwise that WE are the issue and (thus end up with guilt).

I have posted on here before, and it appears what Anita responded is on par with what I have learned.  I do agree that if possible limiting contact with the negative culprits is the only way that true healing can begin.  I was trying to simultaneously dip my toes in toxic fire, while wondering why I wasn’t making any progress.  It’s like walking to fire and wondering why your burns don’t heal.

for me, it is an active, deliberate daily task to remind myself that I am worthy of healing from anxiety, that I am capable of it, and also if i give myself the space to heal – i will be amazed at my progress.  For me, it has taken personal space from my mother (mentally) and placing boundaries with the level I let her get to me.  This has also translated into other aspects of my life in which I allow myself to distance from toxic situations and people.  This has been only a month of so of such progress, but I can say its amazing what you can do if you ALLOW yourself.  Unfortunately we don’t allow ourselves such healing space often given that our lives are a mile a minute, and we are used to certain physical and emotional patterns.

It may have to be deliberate – but soon it can turn into a natural practice, self preservation!