Dear Anita,

Thank you for your advice. My special friend broke up with his girlfriend in October and we have been hanging out.  He is studying health and wellness as well as environmental science. He is fascinated with how the environment affects human health and has been going on class trips to study ecosystems of the Pine Barrens. I wish I could go to see all the wildlife of Pine Barrens with him, but the class trips are expensive if you are not taking the class. I started with biology and chemistry as my sciences and he started with environmental. We both love nature and I may take an environmental class as well, it would be a fun elective.  I am working on becoming more confident about expressing myself without seeking approval from others for my happiness. Sometimes I feel like I am putting too much strain on myself to be there for the people I care about. For example, if a friend needs help with a homework assignment, I’ll take time out of my schedule to help them. But lately it seems like some of my friends are taking advantage of my help and trying to get me to help them with every assignment they have in a subject and it’s exhausting. I feel like I am being selfish telling them I need time to plan things for myself, but I’m also tired of being the crutch that they lean on. So the question is: How do I help them develop an independent understanding of the lessons by being a guide and not a person who just does the work for them?

Another question: Since my special friend and I are both quite shy, could we write our feelings down on paper and give it to each other? I do wish we could talk more face-to-face because there seems so much to say. Yet, spending time together and just enjoying the moment has always helped show our appreciation towards each other even if we can’t find the words to say. I want to take my special friend on a nature hike over Thanksgiving break and am quite nervous. How should I act? What should we talk about? Should I ask him ask friends or as a relationship?

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by Janus.