Jen,

I don’t believe in fighting to keep a relationship.  I believe in mutual commitment in working together and on ourselves.

He made where he is at clear.  It is up to you on whether or not you are willing to tolerate such a non-relationship on his terms.

I believe you two still can love each other without being boyfriend-girlfriend.

I think most of us get caught up that romantic love is the be all and end all of what love is.

You don’t have that as an option with him.

Mark

Hi Mark,

I believe in this as well. I am actually happy to read it the way you put it. When I propose this “work together” he agrees and this is what we are trying right now. What worries me about the nonrelationship is to not have the chance to be fully committed to do this work. I feel like I am doubtful if I should work so hard with him if we aren’t committed. Because this commitment is also a state of mind. But now that I know that he is scared of this, I am wondering what to do.

I also believe we can love each other without being girlfriend and boyfriend and I have thought of many ways this could work. I talked about it with him, about being friends only or creating another kind of commitment, like just working together on each other and on us as a “we”. I know that I love his soul so much. But I am still very attracted to him and it would be hard for me to be just his friend.

I appreciate your words!

thanks