Hi Avi,

Thank you so much for writing. You are right, I had a former sponsor tell me this about my education. That I live in housing, many people are trying to get their GED, or have a high school diploma. I never tell anyone about my college background or degrees there, because I know I will be seen as “different” thus getting rejected. However, zI did “slip up” once and mentioned that I lived close to a particular area because of a University I graduated from. She has been a long time resident there and has a tendency to be somewhat of a gossip. So unfortunately it may have spread. I don’t smoke, but there are alot of cliques that go out and smoke, create drama and gossip. and I’m afraid I might often be the target. I have done nothing wrong there, and have always treated the residents there with love, respect and politeness. However, we have to attend “mandatory groups” to keep our housing there, in the groups participation is required. I have to speak up. Sometimes, the leader of the group will compliment me of my knowledge of something..even though I try to “dumb myself down”  It’s not working. I guess people can tell I have been educated.

I thought I was starting to make friends in one of my 12 step support programs, that I have phone groups on Sundays. After the phone meetings are over, we have “fellowship” it made me feel good because I had two girls I had fun with and talked to. The one girl was from Spain, so we could not talk on the phone one on one however.The other girl, I thought things were going great in our fellowship. Last night, I got 3 voice mail messages from her, she lashed out at me, at everything I said or did wrong in our last group. It was just trivial things. The voice mails were so full of rage and hateful, I started to cry. It was “Adult Children of Alcoholics” anonymous group. I am a newcomer. I will never attend the phone group again. I was devastated. No matter what, I can’t win. I can’t please anyone. I have given up. I guess I just need to enjoy my own company, and accept the fact, friendships are not in the cards for me. Thanks again Avi. ☺