Hi Mark,

Thanks!

Yes I did asked to him how we could have a friendship. I also receive a lot of support from him and I value my friendships a lot. But we decided we can try to have a more serious relationship before giving up on that. We made short-term commitments. Here is the thing, when I sit down with him to talk and try to negotiate what can be the best for us, I never get resistance from him. The only time that happened it was when he was in the middle of a depressive episode and kept saying that he hated himself and wanted to be alone. I couldn’t walk away, it didn’t feel right for me.

He does want what you say, it would be ideal for him. But I want more “us”, so we are trying to find a middle ground. So yes, we sat down, talked, had ideas and it seemed like we both wanted to work on it. I am just afraid that this goes downhill and that in order for me to be safe,  I feel like I need to be prepared for anything. hence, I am trying to have very clear what I want for myself so that I don’t accommodate to what he wants. Right now, he is traveling for work. So I am taking this time to have this post, reflect and be sure of what I want. I am also regaining energy and figuring out my own needs. Hopefully, when we meet again and if it is necessary I can feel more strong to let him go if that’s what he wants, being sure that it will be the best for both him and I.

Thanks for your advice, is important to me to have a man’s perspective.