I am sorry you are feeling this way, Hannah. Sending you a hug.  I empathize with alot of what you are saying and you need to know your value doesnt decrease based on others inability to see it.  You are here for a reason, and you will find it. I would highly recommend some counseling to work through these feelings. It sounds like you have not processed a lot of trauma, especially surrounding your mothers passing. It sounds like you feel extremely rejected by your family- which intensifies any additional type of rejection (the guy you were seeing)  I also recommend you try to stop looking at their social media or take a break from it. It does no good- all its doing is making you feel worse.  Surround yourself with things that make you happy right now.   I agree with the above posts to work on one thing at a time, go easy on yourself. It will get better. Sending you positive vibes.