Dear Reeny:

Regarding having been bullied in the workplace, as you have been, that does happen often enough, unfortunately. Not much different from a child being bullied on the playground by other children, or in school. All it takes for a child/ adult to be bullied is… well, anything. Anything at all that irritates another child, another person.

You shouting at this former co worker and calling her a liar is understandable. After all, she has lied and has bullied you for a long time. A person cannot be a saint, shouldn’t try, really.

You would prefer to move on from these experiences but you keep going back to them because there are things in these experiences that are not resolved. In the workplace experience, as I understand it, there is nothing to resolve, that is, it happened and even if it was still happening, I don’t see what you could have done to resolve it. Once bullying is ongoing, in practice,  without  effective interference by someone in power (at the workplace or law enforcement and such), then there is nothing the victim can do more than already done.

So the resolution might be allowing yourself the sadness over having been a victim, sadness over injustice.

Regarding the other two items, maybe there are lesson to learn and the resolution is in the learning and practicing what you learn in the future. Then you can move on…?

anita