Dear Cali Chica:

It is an exhausting practice, a full time job, really, to practice this kind of mindfulness, of paying attention to what we think and feel and then talking sense to ourselves. I experienced this as a full time job, kept me very busy. I am used to it at this point, it is becoming a habit in itself, that of being mindful, and so it is easier.

You told the co worker that you have to run and “let’s catch up later”. In reality you were assertive and kind. In reality you were not rude at all, not in any way or to any degree.

But you felt guilty, as if you were rude, as if you did something wrong.

Notice the feeling is very convincing, it makes the thinking (I was rude) feel as if it was true to reality and so, that feeling is powerful. This feeling makes the thought a belief. We believe because we feel a thought is true to reality.

Understanding the birth of our core beliefs and their maintenance through childhood, through our formative years (when these core beliefs are formed) is necessary… I believe.

By the way, previous to this post, I posted on your sister’s thread, addressed that post to her and to you.

anita