Mindfulness allows me to notice that my thoughts don’t always determine how I act. Though I may be afraid I often act with courage in the face of that fear.  Mindfulness reveals that who ever ‘I’ am my thoughts and actions don’t necessary define me.  This creates the space where I might observe (detached) my thoughts and actions and more often then not come to a realisation that my fear is False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.).

Mindfulness reveals that Everyone, EVERYONE struggles with this fear of ‘being found out’ and fake. (Does that shock you?)  But that it is almost always false evidence, we aren’t being fake were working on our becoming, when we are trying we are doing. This realisation opens the door to compassion for ourselves and others.

You F.E.A.R. That you look like someone who doesn’t have their act together. (look like implies you know as some level that this issue is about perception and not reality) No matter how many people tell you that you look like someone who has it together you won’t believe them because you have decided that you are your thoughts.

As our thoughts are constantly changing this must be overwhelming and begs the question which thought are you?  The tendency is to pick the most negative which allows you to create what you Fear and make the false evidence real.

The good news is that if we create what we fear mindfulness allows us to create what we hope for.

If your authentic intention is to create strong relationships and not sabotage them by creating conditions that reinforce your negative thinking you might start to work on becoming more skillful and compassionate with your thoughts.