Yes she was the main factor of my thinking about moving out.

She was the 1st from almost all of my friends ( school, university, work) that was living alone. But it was her financial situation and some support from the council. Because of her family issues she was given some money. She was also studying something else, short period and now makes a lot of money because she is good at what she does.In a group of friend i remember she was the 1st to move out even in high school or at the beginning of her studies when i was still living with parents.

But living alone doesnt mean only partying. Its also responsibility. But she was the ONE that was making parties and everyone was talking about her, as she would have a place to be. So she could CHOOSE people.Everything in her life was very early.It is okey. But i was maybe too naive and i was comparing her to me.

I also wanted to be like that and i couldnt understand that my job ( half time) and my studies require more focus, work and generally more pressure. Now it doesnt matter because i live alone. I was in Spain it was ok but i was not like a wild kid. I am older more mature and i dont perceive living alone as partying .

But i have also some kind of an inner pride that i dont like to be dependent on someone. It doesnt mean that i do not take help. I take help i am more humble than before. But some of them didnt understand that i was kind of stuck at university, i didnt like my school friends. They started ( she started) to mother me, telling others that i have a very poor situation, telling others that my family is in a very bad condition . Why? I dont know. It shaped weird picture of me like of a very weak person.

When she was turning 26 in 2015 and invited me for a party i gave her some hand made present – it was a cool idea, i did that because i liked her and we have known each other 8 years. She told me it was bad, because it was too emotional, gave me a shot of vodka and told me to drink and to stop telling her wishes.

cool..

Coming back to you question. I though she was the one that was free, because she was the 1st to be independent. I knew she had problems but didnt want to take the help from NOONE. Only preffered  men attention and company. And i thought that she became someone because she was free.

Later i realised that i was wrong. That being free doesnt mean to make drama and drink. Maybe i dont have young memories like her. Maybe i didnt party like her because i was stuck in my room or my friends room doing my homework. But we had different lives. I can not compare it.

Before I was living in Germany for a year  and i was free.  I could do what i want but i was not as party girl like anyone could imagine. I lived a normal life. In spain the same. Being free means that you are not dependent on the same routine, of what others want you to eat at etc. I didnt even have it in my family home.

To fly and to be free means to create a life like i want and to do what i want.( with a respect to others).