Dear Lily:

Your former therapist did act irresponsibly, is my understanding. She should have not left you hanging, like she has done. Reads to me like she didn’t have in her the capability to help her, not that you couldn’t be helped.

Having re-read our previous communication on your other thread, you do take more responsibility over people and situations than what is true to reality, excusing other people’s wrong choices and mistreatment of you (including that man’s mistreatment of you) because your behavior was not.. perfect.

Of course you are not perfect. No one is. But when a man disregards your feelings, pressuring you as he has done, it is he who is responsible for his behaviors, not you.

When you allow another to mistreat you, that person is still responsible for mistreating you.

And your former therapist is… still responsible for not being clear with you, for leaving you unsure for months as she has done.

“How to help myself” is the title of your thread. One way would be to figure out the issue of responsibility: what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for.

Taking more responsibility than you own, more than what is true to reality, means that you cannot evaluate other people’s behavior correctly, that much that they do is excusable and acceptable.. when it is not.

anita