I am still very curious on what my next step should be. How do i deal with this attraction i have towards men and is there any possibility i could get emotional/sexual attraction towards women or is it my destiny to maybe work with God in celibacy in this life? How do i find my authentic self and how should i go forward with my relationships to my friends. I feel like i’m hiding something from them about myself but i’m not sure what to tell them about myself so i will come to peace with who i am and be confident. I just feel that i am betraying my best friend because i can’t be around him for too long without getting lost, silent and drained. I want to feel nurtured around my friends so i want to be around them/him. I do have goals and dreams and i work on them everyday but that does not feed the empty hole that i feel inside of me, something feels missing and i do not know what that might be. I work out at the gym, i take care of my body. I try to be the best i can to my friends and family but still fall short and feel like i am giving too little and not making enough effort to sustain a healthy relation to them. As already mentioned, i feel inauthentic in one way or another and i really do not know what will make me feel whole and energized.