Heretofloat,

What came to mind as I was re-reading your posts was that even though I admire your stubborn focus on being positive, I think it may be OK to let go and don’t feel that you have to be so strong and positive.  It is scary and debilitating to sink into that depression and lack of purpose but it may be what you need in a strange way.  To be OK with what is with you at the moment.

My sense is that you are strong enough not to crash and burn and to have an awareness to take care of yourself while you are feeling that.

Take what I said with a big grain of salt but just wanted to share another approach.

Mark