Dear Cali Chica:

A third amazing posts. I do not expect every post to be this amazing (wouldn’t like you to feel any pressure to produce more and more of these)- I very much like the shift of attention to your family of choice, very much so.

You wrote: “I vow to not treat him as a punching bag anymore… I vow to not receive these punches from my family”- I can’t tell you how much I appreciate these vows that you made.

You continued: “Punch and shoot they will, with all their might, but I have to deflect with my shield”- I have a comment on this statement: it is not good for you and it does not promote your vows to be in an unecessary battlefield. Fight as successfully as you will, deflecting punches with a new and improved shield, you are still fighting. Fighting will continue to drain you from much needed energy to live a better life, to be a good wife, a good mother to be and a good professional.

Continuing to participate in this battle field will maintain that suffering you are angry about.

What you have been going through is a process of healing, a process you initiated and taking yourself through, step by step. You decide what to  do, when and how. What I am pointing out here is that healing requires you living in safety, in as much safety as is possible for you.

There are two battles available for you, the one you are used to, referred to here, and a battle with your unjustified, unreasonable sense of guilt and loyalty.

I am not thinking at this moment that you … must cut contact, I am not going there with my thoughts, this is not my aim. What must be done is for you to no longer be in an unecessary battlefield, whatever that takes, however that can be arranged.

Will be looking forward to read more from you, anytime.

anita