Dear, dearest Cali Chica:

What a post. So much in it, so much truth, honesty, decency, awakening… growing wisdom, understanding beyond, the big picture, reality.

Your stories about your mother are amazingly consistent. She is very consistent in her extreme lack of empathy for her own daughters. What was it she said when you had a mental breakdown during medical school: you cried as a baby and you are still crying? Very consistent with zero empathy for you and zero empathy for your sister.

She is very consistent with expressing zero respect for you  and for anyone else.

She is very consistent with using you and everyone else for her perceived benefit with no regard whatsoever to the damage she causes others, how she is hurting others, including your in laws. Others’ pain is none of her concern.

She is indeed an extreme case of zero empathy for others. When a person is devoid of empathy for others, they are okay inflicting pain on others because it doesn’t bother them.

It didn’t bother your mother, doesn’t bother her and will not bother her that she hurt you, and if you will be in contact with her, it will not bother her to hurt you again. It will not bother her to hurt your children.

It is not that she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t care to hurt others.

I suppose this is an adequate definition of evil: having no empathy for others, not being bothered by causing pain to others, proceeding to do so relentlessly.

An extreme case here. This is not a case of an imperfect mother or an inadequate one. This is a case of an evil one, my goodness.

You, Cali Chica, have the opportunity to live a life you didn’t think possible before, one yet to be revealed. Few are going the way you are going. Take it very slowly, do not go back. Be patient, let the dust settle again and again.

anita