Dear Craig:

March 20 of last year you wrote about this woman: “I actually do think she loves me, but I don’t want to be in a relationship where there are months of not seeing each others, or weeks of not talking. I think she would benefit from some regular psychotherapy, but that is a decision that only she can make.”

On this thread you wrote that she is an Avoidant (in the title of your thread), that her “reptilian brain” (I understand the term) has kept her away from closeness with you, and that she needs therapy so to be able to engage in an intimate relationship.

It is possible that this is true. Thing is, I didn’t read any expression of closeness that was between you and her, any terms of endearment on your part, anything positive about her. It is as if there hasn’t been any closeness at all, only you reaching out to an Avoidant who has been staying away from you repeatedly for weeks and months at a time.

The part missing from your threads, any expression of past (or present) closeness with her is puzzling to me.

anita