Hi Mark,

Have I maintained boundaries? I’m not too sure how to handle the situation, or what boundaries there should be or not. In so many ways she is still the lost little girl from our childhood and I really want her to be able to see herself in her highest regard. She has a lot to give but cannot see it. I feel such a deep….sadness/ guilt/ duty to her and I really wish I could make her life better and take her pain anyway 🙁

I guess it’s the same as Clarence. With or without me in the picture, he continues the same self destructive, hateful behaviour. I guess people are going to do what they’re going to, whether I’m in their life or not. I’d like to think of a way that I feel like I have those relationships under control. I have my parents one under control by not being in contact, as they don’t make me feel good about myself, and instead make me feel opposite. My relationship with my sister is kind of under control as it’s all through messages, so can easily not reply for a while etc. Although I do still feel a sense of duty to her, which I’m not sure is normal.

Dear Anita,

I am trying the foot cramp method with everything at the moment – every thought and every feeling. And I am learning to be at peace with whatever it is I’m doing, whether it’s relaxing, to cleaning my room, to going to the shop etc. I guess my self-belief is wavering. Some days I’ll have a clear view of the positive future and the potential of the stable relationships I can have with people. And at other times, the self-doubt kicks in and I retreat…. I am being mindful of this of course.

Regarding my sister – please see what I wrote to Mark above. The more I learn, the more I try and pass my wisdom on to her, however I don’t think it works the same. Sometimes my sister can be really really ignorant which is really frustrating, and be really stuck in her ways 🙁 🙁 🙁 Which makes me really upset. I know she wants to heal, but at the same time she doesn’t realise that she needs to believe that she will heal, in order to. Sometimes she does use her BPD as excuses, and she nitpicks on other peoples behaviour 🙁 It’s times like those when I don’t know what advice to give, or how to handle that situation 🙁 It’s hard seeing her struggle so much when I am progressing, and I guess I don’t really know how to deal with it.

Cat