Dear Anita,

Yes, I need to wake up from my dreams as well. This hope was really enticing and for a moment I really see light at the end of the tunnel. Right now, it is just not possible without commitment from her.

I am not sure if I should be grateful to her for finding me. On one hand, I had one of the best time of my life when I was with her. On the other hand, I will be haunted with the separation for the rest of my life.

It is really hard moving back to my mundane life before. Life still have to go on.