Coco,

I agree with what Inky and anita recommended.  I bet your son does not think much of himself especially if his mother is taking care of him in almost every way.

Ultimately you are not doing him any favors by enabling him, by keeping him from figuring out how to stand on his own two feet.  As an Asian growing up as a minority in New Jersey, I can understand but know that self esteem around that can be overcome. You are not responsible to fix that for him.

I believe that there is only so much talking/advice/cannabis can do to help.  It takes real life experience for him to figure things out in life and to live as a grown up, independent adult.

There is something to be said about being self sufficient to help in depression.

Mark