Mark,

Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I have tried that technique before, and am working on getting better at it. When it doesn’t quite work, is there anything you suggest?

Anita,

To answer your questions of parents encouraging me to strive for my best:

-From a young age, I was taught that education is valuable and good grades will get you far. Overall, I have done quite well in school, graduating at the top 5% of my high school class and then getting into my dream college.

-In high school, there was a high-level regional position I wanted to be elected to. They encouraged me to go for it, and were willing to help me out as much as they could.

Being okay to make mistakes:

-In high school, I once got a B in a course. I had wanted to graduate with a perfect 4.0, but my dad (a professor) told me it was okay. He said that this could be a great learning experience, and teach me the value of resilience. Some time later, he told me he was proud of me for moving forward and not letting it bring me down.

-In college, I struggled with some courses and often grew frustrated. My mom often reminded me that I was trying my best, that pre-med courses are supposed to be hard, and that I should be proud of what I have accomplished.

-I was never good with athletics. I have memories of performing below the curve in tennis, soccer, swimming, etc. but my parents never let me feel disappointed about that.

Gentleness

-My parents never hit me, and rarely yelled at me. In fact, I occasionallt joke with them about how my sister and I were never disciplined/how we aren’t scared of them.

-They did, at times, talk to me in a stern voice and made their disappointment clear to me. For example, when I was younger I had a habit of lying for which they would scold me in a serious, although not loud, voice. Another example of stern lecturing occurred when I was not doing well on standardized tests in high school (SAT, AP)and was putting (in their eyes) too much attention to certain extracurricular activities.

Please let me know if I can clarify anything further. I hope you have a great evening.