You want to know what is going on?  That you are willing to keep him in your life.

I would think that no matter what advice you get … from us or from your bf’s father or whoever else, that you won’t get any resolution until you get straight with yourself.

Obviously there is enough about the relationship that is worth the pain you are willing to put up with.  I would examine looking inside and figure out why.  A therapist may help with this or as I suggested before, Al-anon.

Mark