Dear Anita,

Really? I mean yes, they go out with their friends, they go drinking and stuff. But on a day-to-day basis they don’t talk that much, and when they do, it’s my Mum telling my Dad what to do and him being repressed. I’ve seen a lot of their relationship, and it really is just restricting and controlling. I think on a surface level they like to present themselves as being happy, but deep, deep down I know my Dad isn’t. He told me the day before my 7th birthday that sometimes he wishes he hadn’t married my Mum. Knowing that has stuck with me for years. So whenever I was alone with my Dad I could feel his inner pain, and his inner frustration. We never talked about it again, but yes I remember that confession clearly.

No, they hold themselves back. My Dad talks about being in a band, but never does it as he believes he can’t, or that it’s a silly idea. My parents never encouraged us to be ambitious or motivated at all. My mum doesn’t have goals or opportunities apart from going to gigs and stuff with my dad. My sister has goals, but she often lets them slip and forgets to focus on them.

Cat