Hello Poppy,

I think you are in a tricky situation in a way as it can be hard to have honest conservations with friends at times about what to expect from them (and them from you) as it may feel awkward or worry about their response so we (myself included) tend to skirt around the issue which can lead to resentment.

My thoughts here, and I know its easier said than done, is to a) not expect your friend to think like you or be anything other than herself e.g it is your (quite reasonable) expectation that your friend should send you a card for your birthday when you made the effort for her birthday that is making you down about this- you expect her to return the favour and get angry when she doesn’t. This is understandable but if you don’t expect too much from your friend you are more likely to stay friends with less resentment. Some friends are great friends, some friends are fair weather friends and some people we call friends are probably more like aquaintances. That’s okay- it just sounds like this friend is more a fair weather or acquaintance type friend.

It reads