Dear Poppyxo:

It definitely doesn’t work to have a one way friendship/ relationship. There has to be effort on both sides. Not necessarily 50-50, considering life circumstances, and there has to be mutual respect.

Regarding expressing your anger non-assertively, through humor, I do understand that you are comfortable doing so, that it makes you awkward to consider otherwise, but it is not effective. Often enough we don’t feel comfortable with what is effective, with what will operate for our benefit and for the benefit of our relationships.

Whatever we are used to be doing, whatever is our habit (good, bad or neutral), feels comfortable. And it feels awkward to change our habits.

anita