Jasmine,

I am sorry you are confused and hurting.  It sounds like you two never really had a long term relationship with each other.  How long were you together in person?

It is tough when you felt a connection with someone and when you go through a rough patch he steps away.  I find that a good sign because it is best to know now rather than later.  I see this as a good test on how committed and steadfast someone is (whether a lover or a friend or a family member) for you when you are going through bad/rough times.

I know of several friends who got cancer and find that those people who they thought were close and deep friends run away from them.

You can love this guy from afar.  You cannot lose someone if you never really had him in the first place.  And you have no control over whether or not you have him anyway.  Move on.

Mark