Hi boots2018,

I believe that what you are going through is very common and that most married people experience times when they find themselves very physically and/or emotionally attracted to a person who is not their spouse. It happens every day, and if it’s a mutual attraction then the two parties involved are faced with a choice. What is it that makes one person choose to act on her desires (emotional or sexual) outside of her marriage while another person chooses to shut down those desires and walk away from them? If I were you I would ask myself this question, and I’d then decide which person I want to be.

You may say to yourself now that you won’t allow yourself to sleep with this man,  but the wheels have already been set in motion, don’t you think? Kissing, intimate conversations, frequent text messages, getting anxious when he doesn’t text you for a day, desperately missing him, fantasies about each other (I’m guessing this is happening) — it is not going to be easy to walk away from this, is it? The human sex drive is very strong, so you need to plan ahead, prepare yourself for the eventual scenario that you two will find yourselves in. Before it happens, decide who you are, then be that person.

Like I said, I think most people are faced with this during their marriages, maybe several times. It must be one of the reasons why only half of all marriages last. When you objectively look around at other married couples and picture this same scenario happening to them, it’s much easier to see the big (ugly) picture, isn’t it? In other words, it’s easier to anticipate the eventual train wreck that’s coming when you can see the situation clearly without the “fog” that’s caused by all the sexual chemistry, which is often fleeting.

B