Dear abubin:

Maybe it is a  matter  of faith- the faith that you will be okay without Debbie in your life. You had the hope  for a better  life with her, maybe  in New Zealand. Now you are faced with your life being  as it was  before her in  your life.

Reads to me through your posts that life with her, if she  separated from her husband and you separated  from yours, would not have  been a good life for you. It  would have  been a life away  from the one you are  having  now, but not a better  life.

It was  a  fantasy: her fantasy about  a life long  love  that was finally coming true and  about  your fantasy of love forever after, good feelings, passion.

Now what…?

anita