Dear Dani:

I hope you move out of your mother’s soon and that  if  and when you do have children, you will treat them well, so that they do have a happier childhood than you had.

I think that your mother has kept  reminding you that she grew up poor and in a  (more) abusive household because  she was and  is angry at you for  (in her mind) having it better  than she had, so  she has given you bits and pieces of her experience, so that you hurt too.

I agree with you: “just because someone  is your relative and they  shower  you with gifts doesn’t always mean  they always  have the  best intentions”.

The intention may be to… prove to herself that she is a good  mother and “never did anything  wrong”, or if she did  wrong, she is thinking that the gifts given  to  you undid the wrong.

anita