Anita, in almost every situation I put myself, there is at least one person who is greatly annoyed by my presence. People either seem to think very highly of me or think I should be ridiculed. I understand that not everyone is going to like me. That I understand. I don’t like everyone I work with but I would never belittle or be irrationally irritable with them based on their own personal style of speaking, humor….unless it was insulting towards someone. I wouldn’t expect people I manage to be me. I also wouldn’t single people out for criticisms and allow others to do whatever they want. If I feel something should be done a certain way then I expect that from everyone.
You know there were pros and cons to the Catholic education that I received. A few of the nuns not all were very tough on me and unsupportive when I was the victum of bullying outside my school. Don’t know if I told that story…all I can say is I was the victum and I was not shown compassion by a couple of nuns at my school.
One thing I could say though that it didn’t matter to the nuns if you were in the popular group or the not so popular group or the unpopular group….we were all the same and no one was above criticism and if anyone’s ego got too big it was definately checked. As wrongly as I was treated by some of the nuns and some teachers I still viewed that school as a sanctuary where no one really got special treatment. We were all subject to criticism. No one was put on a pedestal. No one was above anyone else in the eyes of the nuns.
My elementary school was my sanctuary. When I left there my life fell apart. Even though they could mean to me outside I wasn’t protected by the authority of the nuns. Teachers were different in public high school. The working world was the same way.
I have always wanted to do the right thing even when it turns out I didn’t do the right thing. It always felt as if an obstacle would appear and trip me up from what I intend to do. My intentions are good but it’s almost like I can’t have them. Someone wants me to not do well no matter how many roadblocks they put up.
I know I may perceive incorrectly other people’s intentions Anita but the ones who I feel target me…it just feels like they are there to squelch any possibility that I be successful in my attempt to be accepted. There efforts are very pointedly done.
I am not about survival of the fittest, I do not want life to be a game and I do not want to act a certain way to receive love.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 