Dear Anita,
Thank you so much for the time and effort you took to reply. I am grateful for your help 🙂
I don’t think that’s the problem anymore. Might have been at one point of time probably but now I don’t compare myself to her. I deeply admire her for her qualities, however, now I’m able to appreciate her strengths without questioning my own. The way I feel now is because I shut people out  and then feel like I’m alone in my journey at the moment. I am aware that it’s very self contradictory and yet I don’t understand how to change it, or even if I want to change it. I don’t feel this way a lot but I do feel like this during few selected moments. All this overthinking and constant analysis of what’s going on in my life makes me a little low at times. Like a small nagging voice that eats at my happiness. I think lack of self-love is my problem because I love myself only if I’ve done something that counts as an achievement and not otherwise. Even that love is very brief and not continuous. I immediately feel the need to focus on another potential achievement. What do you think?