Dear srk:

Of these things you would do differently, having “a group of friends who would be supportive and nurturing”- that is the most difficult goal, as I see it. It takes not only your participation but these other people’s participation. Some people are not capable or willing or both, to stay. Nor should they necessarily stay in a friendship, no matter what.

You wrote: “When I head out and see a group of friends hanging out and laughing out loud I feel overwhelmingly sad”- I understand wanting connection, support, friendship, absolutely.

But notice: when you see a group of friends laughing out loud, you don’t know if they are laughing an hour from then. We tend to see something and assume it is always like that. Chances are someone in that group is paying a high price to … fit in, in that group, to feel the temporary together feeling that we all crave.

anita