Dear Anita,

Apologies for the delay in my replies. If I’m being honest, most of the time I am spending my time messaging my friends, and giving them support, about their own emotional problems via facebook. I have spent the past 2 days – literally. Sending a lot of messages, having a lot of phone calls in order to try and sort out a situation between my two friends who are in a relationship. Tonight I also got a message from my sister saying she was really low etc. (again). I tried to remain calm (I have taken alot of influence from how you interact with me) – and I tried to remain professional an support her that way. She is safe and we are going to talk on the phone in the morning. I will try and remain logical and rational, and offer her a plan of action if she is ready.

I have realised tonight how much time I spend supporting my friends and sister, and this is something that I am learning to organise/manage/drive/plan well (I am struggling to find the right word – because the emotional and spiritual support that I give is 100% self-directed, and 100% from my own heart/mind. For some reason I feel like my honesty and ability to empathise with others really helps people, and is a gift that I can give to others). Such as yourself, and the spiritual work that you do here on Tiny Buddha.

I have actually learnt a lot from our interactions. And over the past few months I have found that being open, honest – taking time to understand and empathise, and to step back from situations without judgement, has allowed me to fix relationships in my life, and also allowed me to form healthy relationships with people too. Thank YOU Anita – I have learnt this skill from you, your kindness, understanding and patience.

You have helped me to change my life. (I had a tear of happiness whilst writing this).

Going back to your earlier message. In the past couple weeks or so, I have found myself being able to separate myself from my feelings/ emotions and not being devoured. I have begun to recognise more and more my thoughts/ feelings in the moment and to remind myself of what I am doing in the PRESENT – such as getting a bus to work. I remove my focus from the thought/ feeling and focus purely on the present moment – standing outside, watching the people walk by, the physical feeling of being in my body etc.

When you talk about being ‘devoured’ – you say that you were ‘too scared to do what needed to be done’. – what exactly are you referring to here? What was it that was needed to be done??

I have begun the ability to find that calm place, as you have talked about 🙂 progress is very much being made.

As for Noel – he is also a very patient, open person, and if anything arises, we talk through it afterwards. We are very much in love and we both love and appreciate each other alot. I feel very lucky to have been blessed with such a loving, caring relationship, that is founded and grounded in such openness and honesty.

For now, I am managing. Tomorrow I need to talk to my sister and continue unpacking my room.

Thank you for being a positive influence in my life,

Cat