Dear Anita,

Thank you for explaining that – I understand now. And yes, I can empathise here completely – I guess in my situations the things that I’ve needed to do is – to remove myself away from harmful people who aren’t good for me (such as Clarence), move out ASAP, and start putting my own health and wellbeing before trying to support others/ fix other peoples problems (!) – This is something I am only just starting to recognise, and act upon.

Do you think – that throughout your life, and these situations – that maybe you didn’t act upon these things at the time, because you weren’t fully aware of the harmful impacts they were having?? There must be so many reasons why people stay in certain situations – abusive relationships, drug addictions, toxic friendships etc. – I guess this could come from a lack of awareness of how sacred our emotions are? And how every situation has an impact? Or not having knowledge that we deserve better – that we deserve to look after ourselves/ protect ourselves etc.

Were you okay after the car crash?!

It is interesting gaining more insight in to your experiences, as the image that I have of you continues to build. At the moment, the image I have of you, is of being a very thoughtful/ contemplative/ considerate woman, sat at a table and looking out at the garden, watching her dog whilst contemplating. (Because before you have mentioned your dog). I also get the impression that something spiritually and emotionally monumental happened to yourself at a young age too, and I feel as though this may be the reason you are able to discuss and empathise with people and their emotional journeys so well (in the same way that I do).

In response to your question: I guess I am referring to that calm, rational tone – that I’ve needed to learn to do for my own job (support work) and that I’ve heard from other people when I phone suicide helplines/ domestic violence helplines etc. As because she’s my sister, it’s easy for me to get emotionally involved, and talk to her from a place of emotion, rather than logic. If that makes sense??

This weekend I spent a long time trying to understand two of my friends who had a miscommunication. Yesterday I was too emotionally drained to talk to my sister. I will do at some point today. It can get tiring seeing the same situation with her wife occur again and again and again, and me giving the same advice – but alas, all I can do is remain logical/ rational and hope that one day she can see for herself that the relationship is unhealthy, abusive, and love herself enough to take the necessary steps to leave.

It is very difficult to watch though. To feel like you want to hand someone their self-worth, self-love, but to know that it can only be given to them by themselves. She is doing alot of self-analysis and realising a lot about herself and her past behaviours though. I hope that this continues and that I can be as good of an influence as I can.

It’s nearly 6am here in England. I am just having a coffee before getting ready for work. For some reason I was inspired to get up a bit earlier and write out some emotionally intelligent/ helpful messages to my friends, and replying to you before starting my day – feels great!

Sending spiritual solidarity to you,

Cat