Hello!

I logged in to reply as what you wrote I literally could have written about myself and mmy life. I don’t have any specific advice to give you but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I think many other people (not just us two) feel like this and teach a point where life feels stagnant and meaningless-i think that’s where for some people the alcohol and drugs come in as a distraction from that.

Things that have made me feel slightly less alone are to:

Release expectations from my friends. I read somewhere that if you go out specifically to avoid rejection you are more likely to find it as it’s kinda like the very thing you don’t want. I have done many things to make new friends e.g. classes etc but the times I have made friends is when I did something I really wanted to do for myself (in this case it was volunteering on a farm) and met vet students that way when I didn’t expect too. The same thing may happen to you. What hobbies/classes/courses do you currently do or want to Do? I have also been on a national trust working holiday which helped me to keep busy and make new connections- not friends though.

Keep busy. This can seem pointless and just ike another distraction e.g. like your idea of watching a film,  but when you are busy you have less time to dwell. It’s like an escape for a short time.

I also have recently started to go to therapy face to face (not quite as scary as it sounds but almost there!) And I have also done online therapy too and that helps as it’s an independent perspective on your life which can help when you feel low.

Perhaps look into spirituality or the like. I like YouTube videos by Jason gallant or I could recommend a few books if you were interested in that?

I’m guessing you have already thought of all these things so I’m sorry I can’t be of much help. I would just say I feel like it is hard to make lasting friendships rather than aquaintences with people these days too. It can feel like you are trying super hard and not getting much back which is frustrating. I would just say perhaps reach out to old friends you have lost touch with (I have done this recently) or just try and accept that right now in your life things are just quieter- BUT you have made good friends before and you will make them again. 🙂

Another thing is that I have a boyfriend but j often feel lonely e.g. I’ve just finished work and although I’ve spent the day chatting to colleagues I don’t feel like I have made a meaningful connection with any of them so I do feel alone. So having someone else in your life does not guarantee not feeling lonely.

I hope you are okay. 🙂