Moving on is the best thing that you can do for you. After all, it is YOUR life!! Congratulations on your girlfriend and for getting an education. I know this must all be so stressful, but none of those things you feel guilty about are actually your fault. You are only 19, these are supposed to be the years of your life. Your parents behavior is not normal and not healthy. However, do keep in mind that all three of your previous guardians most likely are all facing/have faced issues of their own and therefore are not completely stable. Again, these things are not your fault but eventually in the future, using compassion to keep these things in mind will help you to heal. They are just people with human flaws. I agree with Anita, receiving help or guidance from a professional might be very beneficial. I am living in a toxic household currently (trying to get out within the next 2 years!) and I am paying out-of-pocket to see a therapist bi-weekly, and her insight is amazing. Just having someone to talk to and validate you is like a huge weight lifted off. Keep living your life and you’re allowed to be selfish, because you come first!!

Warm regards,

Kathleen