Hi Vicki,

I would not put too much pressure on yourself in the thoughts, feelings or emotions of people you meet in a bar or pub. Remember that when you first said you wanted to go, your husband even said “these are “pub people, not really friends” and he is right. People are not usually there to really make “new friends”..they are not the most stable of people. Many might have drinking problems, or go out after work as a means of escape from an unhappy home life, dealing with kids, an unhappy marriage, co-worker problems, etc. Many are in AA. Many may have had a few drinks too many, like that man, that said those awful things to you. He may have said that, but it had nothing to do with you. He is in his “clique”at the pub, maybe he is jealous, as you are married, he is single, or he may be having problems with work, drinking problems where he verbally assaults people, it has nothing to do with you. I tried to look up the word “pathetic” in the dictionary, no such thing, theerefore no such definition, just a negative thought we attach to ourselves which is wrong, so is “loser” and all the other lies we tell ourselves.

You are not pathetic, just because one miserable bar person verbally abused you. You have a nice husband, and stated you have/had nice friends in the past. I would just look for healthier places other then a bar to meet nice, stable people, such as hobbies, volunteer work. Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself. If your best friend said she was a loser or “pathetic” what would you tell her? Be gentle on yourself. x