Dear anita,

i cant explain everything right now, but i’ve had a mental breakdown in Bristol.

I didnt eat or sleep for 2 days, abused alcohol. I attacked a girl on a night out and lost Noel.

I was mean to Noel on the phone and called him names.
I didnt know what I was doing, and next day tried to fix things but he said he needed space.
I’ve been too manic and trying to fix things so I went to his house, been messaging, calling frantically etc because I’ve been having a breakdown.

We spoke on the phone last night, and I tried apologising and telling him how much he means to me, but he said he only called to tell me that he needs space. Then he said I don’t care about hurting him cus he needs space, and that I don’t understand his anxiety. And he said it wasn’t going to work and that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.

I’m so upset because he has an image of me in his head of a person that I’m not, and I’ve been trying to fix that.

I’ve ruined everything, and it sucks so much because before last week we were good. we were beautiful, and we said that we were in love with each other on the phone :'( :'( we were so respectful to each other, and now it’s all gone :'(

Cat