Dear Regi:

“This phobia is my own fault”, you wrote. It is not a wrongdoing on your part, not a choice you made, to blush and so forth. So “fault” is not a good word here, I believe. You are not at fault for blushing and for experiencing anxiety otherwise.

Regarding your question: “Is your own anxiety the reason why you’re helping people on this forum?- there is an assumption in your question that I am helping people. I wish I helped others. But I don’t know if I am helping anyone.

“Because you don’t want them to feel bad?”- I gave up on such expectation some time ago, that is, the expectation that it is possible for me and for anyone else to not feel bad, at times. I feel empathy for others expressing their pain, absolutely, and I do want them to feel better. But when I respond, I do not type anything at all unless I believe it is true to reality. I will not bend reality so to cause a reader to feel better.

I believe that our mental health (and feeling better long term) depends on our thinking and believing being true to reality.

anita